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lost in yet another repeated night

from mostly novemdiales by Carpeaux

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lost in yet another repeated night
I sit down to write so I feel something different
I spend my day without thinking right
and then at night I just wait for sleep
thus distracted, arguably awaken
I spend my days
and do amazing things
acts of goodwill
have conflicts of conscience
badly pray with no faith
pleasure, pain
am sarcastic
am a fool
and I fear none of this may matter

if my life is empty and I'm an old fool
I will blame others for my problems
and I will not remember how I feel today
but if I'm lucky it won't be this way
and I will know
that everything was meaningless
but taking care of her
and now, present me and old me shake hands
one knowing what to do
the other one doing it
and in moments like this

though existence is a burden
and with boredom we pay
for the miracle of a conscience
among being and nothingness
in moments like this
a truly feel at peace
and I truly, truly feel happy
cause then I know
only then I know
she is the sun that warms my world

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from mostly novemdiales, track released June 28, 2011

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